because I haven't posted in quite some time. I've been feeling kind of drained lately, both mentally and physically, and I haven't had much happen that I was excited to write about.
A few weeks ago I thought I had happened across a prescription combination that was going to be the magic bullet for my fibromyalgia symptoms. I was really ready to believe that I might be able to achieve a new standard of living, permanently. I think I got excited over... not nothing, but a few days of feeling better, after which I went back to normal. It was nice to feel better for a little while, anyway. But right now I'm tired and enervated.
I spent a long time thinking I could make myself feel better without (legal) drugs, and for a while I think I was right. I spent most of my college years feeling pretty okay. The years since then have been harder. I exercise regularly (although not very strenuously, because then I'd hurt myself), I eat fairly well, and I get more than enough sleep every night, and now I'm even on drugs because I gave up on making it on my own, and I still feel kind of shitty most of the time. I only work about four hours a day, six days a week (yes I know what that multiplies to. I'm functionally idle), but between that and cleaning and cooking and a few half hours of writing and practice every day, it feels like all I can manage.
I know I am going to have to make a big push if, for example, I want to try to get my book published--and I might as well try; it's pretty much finished. But right now I don't have the energy to do much other than get by.
Which is fine. At least I'm getting by.