News on the writing front

Such that there is any.



I read through draft three and made line edits on paper; now I am busy typing them into the document. My biggest problem right now is that I love the end of the book and I'm still not sure that the beginning isn't crap. It's not that I don't like it, but I'm not in love with it-- and if I'm not in love with it I'm not sure I can expect anyone else to even tolerate it.

By the by, if you have asked me for a PDF of the novel, I will be sending it to you presently. No, I haven't forgotten you. I'm far too self-absorbed to forget when people are interested in my stuff. I just want to integrate all these edits first.

I've also started reading through some self-help books about finding agents. I feel they have given me a grounded and realistic perspective on my chances of doing just that-- which is to say, it'll be virtually impossible. Of course, I still hope that I will find a (non-hack, non-scammy) agent who will help me put my word babies into print, but do I expect to find one? No.

That's not to say I'm not going to try my hardest. I know said it would be virtually impossible, but that's not totally impossible, and ya'll, I watch Gurren Lagann too much to believe in failure. So, between my ESL appointments today, I went to Barnes and Noble and spied on the Acknowledgements sections of several "urban fantasy" genre novels to find out what agents are interested in this sort of thing. Wrote down some names to look up later. Felt pretty slick.

I'm also forcing myself to go to a writer's group for the first time this coming Tuesday evening. I find the idea of showing my work to other serious writers completely terrifying, but, you know what? Tough shit, me. No one accomplishes their virtually impossible goals by being terrified. As Facebook's Courage Wolf app told me a few days ago: "FEAR IS A REFLEX. CONFIDENCE IS A CHOICE."

Yeah. I'm not sure that's true, because I'm not feeling confident at all, despite choosing confidence over fear... but thanks anyway, Courage Wolf.

Here is the thing. If I don't try as hard as I can, and I fail, I will feel responsible for my failure. But if I really give it my best shot, and I fail, I will know I'm just a mediocre writer.
...wait, what? That's not motivational...